The playbook
You Didn't Marry
the Wrong Person
19 pages · Instant download
Playbook · PDF

You Didn't Marry the Wrong Person

$19 one time

Nineteen pages on the handful of patterns behind almost every marriage that ends up in my office, and the specific, unglamorous repairs that move them. It's the longer version of what the free reset starts.

  • The four patterns that account for most recurring fights
  • Word-for-word scripts, not principles you have to translate
  • A repair sequence for after a fight has already happened
  • Exercises built for two people to do together in one sitting
  • Yours immediately, in a format you can print

Secure checkout through Gumroad. Delivered as a PDF the moment you pay.

What's inside

Built to be used, not admired.

Every section ends with something to do. If you read it cover to cover and change nothing, I've written it badly.

  1. Why the wrong-person feeling shows up What's actually happening when a marriage starts to feel like a mistake, and why the feeling is so common it's nearly a milestone.
  2. The four patterns The recurring shapes underneath most fights, described so plainly you'll recognise yours in a paragraph.
  3. The sentences that lower the temperature Exact words. Not "communicate openly". The actual line to say when your chest is tight.
  4. Repair, after the fact What to do the next morning, in what order, when the argument already went badly.
  5. The everyday version The small, boring, daily moves that make the big conversations rare. This is the part nobody gets taught.
Who this is for

Two people who still want it to work.

It's for couples who are tired, not finished. If there is abuse, active addiction, or a safety concern in your relationship, a PDF is the wrong tool. Please reach out to a licensed counselor in your state.

Questions

Before you buy

Is this counseling?

No. It's an educational resource. It isn't psychotherapy, it doesn't diagnose anything, and buying it doesn't make you my client. If you need clinical care, I'd rather you get it than read this.

Do both of us need to read it?

It works better with two, but it's written so one person can start alone. Several of the exercises are designed to be handed across the table rather than explained.

How is it different from the free reset?

The reset solves one moment: the ninety seconds when a conversation turns. The playbook deals with the pattern that keeps producing those moments, and what to do between them.

Is it religious?

I'm a credentialed minister and I write for people of faith, so the values are visible. Nothing in it requires you to share them for the tools to work.

What if it isn't for me?

Email me and I'll refund it. I'd rather have the note than the nineteen dollars.